Interview with Professor Elemental

Dylan Stallard caught up with the notorious Professor Elemental at the Tribal Earth Festival, to discuss Chap Hop, Brexit and his conflict with Mr B.

How did you choose your name?

It was chosen for me, by my own dear mother. Although why she decided to call her firstborn ‘Professor’ we shall never know.

How long have you been performing?

About fifteen years, and ten years with a silly hat on.

Who are your influences?

It’s a heady cocktail of Vivian Stanshall, Neil Gaiman, Grant Morrison, Golden Age Hip Hop and cartoons mostly. That and the other musicians I get to work with – more often than not, it’s Tom Caruana’s beats that are the inspiration for whatever I write about.

What is Chaphop?

Good question, if you find out- do let me know. As far as I can tell, it’s almost exactly like Hip Hop, but slightly more polite.

If you could change one thing in the world what would it be?

If it’s the UK, then our tawdry excuse for a Government would be a nice start. Easy access to time travel trousers would be nice too, so I can go back in time and warn people about Brexit, Trump and Southern Rail.

Why the beef with Mr B? I hear it’s been resolved.

I think I got my knickers in a twist because I thought he’d got the idea from me, which turned out to be complete nonsense. I also *really* wanted to make a dis song which would enable me to parody a proper Hip Hop battle track. We resolved it almost immediately afterwards, there’s more than enough conflict in the world. Mr B was most gentlemanly throughout the whole business and we are now best of pals.

Any hobbies?

Ah yes, polishing my beautiful knees, grooming my orangutan butler, seeing if I can beat my record for tea consumption over a 24 hour period, opium, roller coasters – there are so many ways to pass the day.

Favourite place you have performed?

Hmmmm, possibly the wedding of one of my best friends, Moog. I performed the ceremony at his wedding on a glass bottomed boat surrounded by sharks in the Sea Life centre.

Advice to other performers?

Be prepared to spend a lot of time in a Travelodge, never drink and tweet, never go on to the after party, get a deposit when you take a booking, don’t be afraid to sell merch, be nice to the sound man, never accept a drink from a large Mexican called ‘Wolf’.

What were you like at school?




Check out Professor Elemental’s website:


Twitter: @prof_elemental


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Dylan Stallard

Dylan Stallard is the Entertainment Editor for Unified. He is currently studying Creative and Professional Writing (BA) at Canterbury Christ Church University and hosts a radio show on CSRFM for writers, poets and musicians.

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